Its depressing to see people married my age with teenage kids. i never was able to get a job, never was able to live on my own except back in 1993 when it was a an all male dorm called "The Carreer & Guidence Center". They trained a guy for a job and independant living skills. But the place was literally falling apart when i got there. I left because it wasn't doing anything for me so i left...to live at my grandparents' house. A month later the place closed down. My mom thought if i failed at that then thats it, i have to live with family members for the rest of my life. Now i have to live with my mom until she dies.
I also can never have a wife or even a girlfriend, almost did that too. (Check out my "Ram" post
http://www.letstalkbeatles.com/forum/index.php/topic,1104.0.html)
I'm depressed, i dont want to turn 40 with a life experiance of a 17 year old just because thats the way mommy wants it. My family (or atleast my mom and my sister who can't get along with each other) say, if i wasnt taken care of the way i was, i'd be dead. Well, you know what id rather have died a teenager than to live my life in a bubble. You know that old movie with John Travolta in "The Boy In The Plastic Bubble", that was based on a true story, like "La Bamba", which was about Ritchie Valans who had a short starfilled life before dying at 17 with Buddy Holly in that plane crash. If i had a choice who i'd want to be (that is if the boy wouldve stayed in the bubble or astronaught suit and lived alot longer.) Id want to be Ritchie Valans.
Sorry if thats selfish but i'm tired and consumed of it. I just prayed to God if i'm 50 and still like this, i hope i die before i'm 50. I should be able to have another option in life besides living with family who believes i'll never make it on my own. I jsu need more life options. I never even wanted to move to Cozumel, Mexico. that was my mom's, my sister's and husband's idea, and now a big fallen out has left only me & mom here in Cozumel. (Thanx mom for turning me into a forigner!) My sister and her husband, 9 year old daughter are in California. and thier 18 year old son is finishing high school in Texas, staying with a friend. Would it be too unreasonable to wish for a young beautiful woman to take me away from all this. Unrealistic, yes, but the only reason why its unrealistic is because its unreasonable. I gotta do this myself...but i cant..so i'm stuck.
Sorry, just needed to rant.
