First date in my life, but HUGE problem.

[Derek]

I met this beautiful young woman at the local babershop her in Cozumel. her name is Lupetta, doasnt speak a word in english but ive been getting vibes from her. And the barbershop owner who was also Mexican but could speak a little english was trying to fix up with her, right there in front of her. I told Steve (my friend and border who live with me and my mother) about it and and now i have a doubledate waiting for me.
I keep getting attention from young beautiful Mexican women that i NEVER got from American, but there one huge problem... THE LANGUGE. The doubledate is Monday and i've learned at least on line in spanish. "I speak and understand a little spanish, i'm learning more". I can say it in spanish but i cant spell it. I downloaded some spanish CDs that helps some, thats how i learned that phrase. If i can just learn 4 more phrases before i see her again, that would be great. But its gonna be uphill, how can a relationship like this ever blossem into something romantic?

[mervap]

Language can be a stumbling block to communication, but some feelings need no words...if she does like you in that way, you will figure it all out. Best of luck!

[2 of 3]

Yeah, men and woman don't understand each other in any language 

[Greg]

Como se dice is a good one.  Man I know you prob know this but just trying to help.

So, yeah, we're happy for you!

Treat her gently.  Treat her kind.
Treat her simply.  Take it slow.
-Paul McCartney

Any other Beatle-lyric advice for our friend?

[Paperback Writer]

Be'same, be'same mucho!

[Derek]

I might have to postpone my "date" til Tuesday because i just found out that they're giving spanish lessons 6-7 on Mondays, Wednessdays and Fridays. So i better at least take one spanish lesson before the big "date". And i have been listening to spanish CDs too, so thats a big plus. But in this situation, i can never learn too much spanish.

[2 of 3]

Actually, trying to communicate on that first date, may be a lot of fun. :)

[Derek]

Well the first date happened. (but there was a "3rd wheel" because we did need a translator, so it was a bit awkward) but this is the best way i can describe me & Lupetta's relationship.

[TrllVl90]

Pirate an older version of Rosetta Stone and gett the spanish language packs. I did that for french, granted I've barely used it, but when I do it works amazingly.

And yes I realize the less than legal status of what I'm suggesting, but why would anyone pay $500+ to get an updated version of something that worked fine in the first place!

Good luck with the date dude!

[Derek]

Cat's dead
We went out 3 times but with a "3rd wheel" which was Steve because he was bilingual...VERY awkward. However she acted like she really wanted to be close to me. This NEVER happened before. But i havent seen her in a little over a month. She doesnt have a phone, she was borrowing her sister's phone, and then she had to give it back. And now now she seems to be missing. Anna (the barber who introduced us) says she's been to her house twice..no answer. Just gone, like she never exsisted
Steve still insists on giving me false hope about it though. Right now, Steve and my mom are not getting along at all. I'm taking spanish lessons though. Steve takes me and sits in with me, because he claims to know more spanish accurately than the teacher...and the local mexicans.  Steve doesnt want me to use the Google Translater or any spanish CDs or any of the internet software and sites like Live Mocha and Rosetta Stone, because none of them are accurate. He seems to hint out only he can help me. Thats kinda scary. I am a bit heartbroken about Lupita though.Someone said maybe Lupita's not avoiding me, she's avoiding Steve. Originaly i wanted it to be just me and Lupita and my laptop with the Google translater, but i think you already know how Steve thinks about that. But here's the clincher: It was her Bday on 9/11. Steve suggested i get her a phone and they sell them at the Mega for only 350 pesos. Steve said i shouldne buy those cheap things. He said you should never get a girl a cheap gift, they consider it rude because thats the same thing as saying thats all youre worth to me. When he said that, i already got her a gift that cost 350 pesos, a pair of ear rings, i didnt know what else to get her. Besides, i guess i just wanted to give her a token of my appreciation for giving me a chance no other woman ever did. I gave it to Anna to give to Lupita when she sees her. Before i left for Texas, on the day of my flight, i gave her a rose and a note written in spanish i translated from english using the Google translater. Steve was saying she didnt understand a word of it. But i told her in the note that i have to depend on my mom for cash so it might be a little hard. And i think Steve told her too...or so i thought. Now Steve is waiting to be paid by Dan (who owes him money) to pay him so he can but Lupita a good phone, not a cheap one (like the one me and mom has which works fine, so i don't why its such a big deal) Inspite what Steve says, it's over and i know it, i know a "brushoff" when i see one...and FEEL one.
I have to admit, this has really depressed me. I just don't like to be motivated with false hope. I really sincerly thought that this was a sure sign from God, otherwise why would He allow this to happen after so many years of it not happening? I thought i was growing in Christ so much and then this meeting and "dating" Lupita and her really being into me (or so it seemed) and we don't even speak the same language, its nothing less than a miracle...and then..nothing. Just like that, like it never even happened. Before i was growing in Christ, i was backslidden, all through my 20s. I was even struggling with an addiction (but not with substences), as i took those classes, i started to grow in Christ. Then i had to move to Cozumel, away from my comfort zone, watch my entire family have a fallen out. I survived that test...but not this, i'm afraid, i've backslidden to the way i was before i was really growing. Maybe God was just using Lupita as a test, no more, no less. I was hoping i could met a young beautiful mexican woman marry her and never have to deal or witness the painful family strife ever again. My mom keeps talking about who's gonna "take care of me" when she dies. If i was married she neednt to worry. Besides, let me just say, NO WOMAN WILL EVER HAVE TO "TAKE CARE OF ME". I can pretty much do things for myself. The situation is just too complicated to explain. But i really feel like this has done me in. If it wasn't God's will for me to have Lupita in that way, why did He allow the "dates" to happen? See, i'm single by circumstance (please read this, the part where "some have singleness thrust upon them" http://ebibletools.com/angels/mw/vd4.html), and to have this happen...it just set me up for a major heartbreak.
Sorry, this is so long, i just don't know where else to turn, i've been praying on this for the longest time and there's just no answer.

[TrllVl90]

Not to be a jerk, but you're approaching this wit a very defeatist attitude. I've never dated anyone, not even gotten close. But I don't give up and pray hoping someone else will provide me with an answer. If I want something I go out and take it. The only way to achieve anything is through action. As heartbreaking as it is you need to keep plodding along, if she doesn't contact you, move on. No need to dwell on the past, man, look towards the future!

[Derek]

Well, its not like i'm really waiting until she springs up somewhere. If i ever meet someone again i'll ask her out. the only issue is my mom gonna loan me enough money. Thats is so humiliating. My mom won't give me more than 40$ (or 500 pesos) at a time. Steve says i need at least 80$ for a date. Plus, i'm never sure how to compare the value of pesos with the American doller. One more important thing though. The reason why i never wanted to date more than one woman at a time is just it can cause conflict. 

[Kylenz]

I too have had no luck at all finding a companion to share my life with, but I've had to make a few rules unfortunately after giving all kinds of people a shot. First thing is, they not only have to speak English, but have to be on the same wavelength, y'know, dig your sense of humour, good conversation etc. I've tried meeting people who don't speak English as a first language, and the communication barrier makes it impossible. For starters, because the New Zealand accent is different to an Englishman or American or even an Australian, they find it hard to understand me. They can't pick up sarcasm or little subtle things that you think are meant to be humorous but all you get back is a cold blank stare, because they don't understand the 'Kiwi' sense of humour.

It's not that I would completely rule out a relationship with a foreigner, but I'd make damn sure that we 'click' like two peas in a pod, that we have plenty in common, not just interests but our approach to life in general and our personalities - someone positive and not pick apart every little thing you do - that of course can be really disheartening.

People in the past said that I was too picky, so I actually for a while said "ok, I'm going to give anyone a shot" - and guess what, they all caused ultimately a broken heart that has nearly killed me :(

So I'm now at the point where I have to be super-picky, even pickier than before, because there's no damned way I'm ever going to let my guard down ever again. It's a shame, because I'm not getting any younger, I want to be married to a stunning lady and have 2.5 children and a picket fence and lovely home, and look after everyone. But so far, women have only seen the worst in me, and not opened their hearts to me and not believed in me. It's a vicious circle. The only way to break that cycle would probably be to win the lottery, then I'd have everything a woman would desire (i.e. money). I know what you mean about having to buy expensive gifts, it shouldn't be that way at all. I'm not much of a materialistic person (well I like having pc/internet and a nice tv but that's about it) but unfortunately it's impossible to meet a lady that doesn't care about all that superficial bs. I dunno, maybe I've been born at the wrong time and would've done better on a hippie commune or something!

So I don't really know what I can say to help you. I'm not religious, so can't offer any spiritual pearls of advice. Maybe we are simply better off without them. Let's face it.. when they are in your life, it's all one complication after another, everything is suddenly a drama - things you are normally nonchalant about suddenly require urgent priority and you end up having to completely overhaul and change who you are just to fit in with their idea of what a perfect boyfriend should be. Unfortunately, we human beings are all terribly flawed individuals. I mean, I can accept myself for who I am and I can accept other people for who they are - so how come I can't find someone who can accept me for who I am? It's not a hard thing to do I would've thought. 

It's no fun having to constantly meet the expectations of the person who is supposedly in love with you, in reality they're just settling for you, and deep down inside they can't stand you, even though you're a good guy and try your best! So yeah, I don't think I can help you! I wish I could.

By the way, I also disagree with those guys that seek out Asian brides for marriage - it doesn't seem right to me. You can't call that true love. Check out the creepy guy with the hat in this documentary - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pmy_fnFqjfM - makes one's skin crawl!

[2 of 3]

But so far, women have only seen the worst in me

Yeah, like it's THEIR fault you like Nickelback 

[Kylenz]

Hahaha, Nickelback.. this is funny - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qehuyXOmkRs

(warning: don't click on it though if you are offended by explicit language and obscenity though)