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Derek
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« on: September 02, 2011, 10:08:39 PM » |
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Should a man in his 40s who is still a virgin and never had a wife or a girlfriend date a woman 15-20 years younger than him because he is a virgin in his 40s who has never been married. To me that would seem logical.
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mervap
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« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2011, 10:38:40 PM » |
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Honestly, I wouldn't use that as the primary reason for dating someone that much younger than you...it might make you feel a bit less awkward, though.
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"If Love is blind, how will it ever find a way?"
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Kylenz
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« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2011, 11:13:56 PM » |
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Colour me idealistic, but I don't think it should matter what a person's background is, or their age for that matter. It's society that judges, but it shouldn't be something for individuals to judge. If two belong together, they will.
Looking on the dating sites though, I see lots of younger females in their 20s always say "no men older than 30", "old men go away" etc, so they must get a lot of older guys hitting on them. So if you can find someone younger who accepts you for who you are, then you have found that precious rare diamond!
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lampie1970
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« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2011, 11:58:45 PM » |
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i wasnt someone who lets say "rushed" into losing my virginity. And you know what Derek? I thought that made me weird. I thought there was some fantastic confidence that came with not being a virgin. or something that someone somewhere wasnt telling me!! I didnt know what "IT" was!! I can tell you, with 100% confidence, and i KNOW that every one here will agree with me, truly agree with me, that having sex does not make you a different person. It does not make you more confident or more capable at anything. It doesnt give you points in any column, except you can check one thing off. Thats it!! And sometimes, having sex can make you feel like crap. if it is the wrong person, or the wrong circumstances, it just feels wrong. and that can make you feel hollow and you carry that around with you for years...maybe forever. What I am trying to say is...and it will sound a bit hokey i guess...but your virginity is a gift only you can give, but to only ONE person. if she is the right person, she will see that for what it is. you dont want to just get it out of the way. at least in my opinion you dont. If someone tells me they are a virgin nowadays, i respect them tremendously for that. because in our society, all the focus is on sex. chewing gum is sold with sex. everyone is made to beleive that if you arent having it you are weird and not attractive. not true. anyone of us can go right now and find it if that is all we wanted. but i dont think it is all you want. so, hold out for the right one. she exists, and she will respect you for all the right reasons.
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chris
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« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2011, 12:23:29 PM » |
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it is completely up to you who you choose to be with. but there are certainly no guidelines as to what age companion you should choose based on your current situation. i would not suggest you choose someone because they have abstained from being sexually active. choose someone you can talk to. someone you are comfortable with. and even...gasp...someone you like. like lampie said, sex isn't going to change you. it will not turn you into this mythical greek-like god with superpowers (unless...you have...ahh, nevermind. maybe a topic for another day)...
i think you might be putting this whole virgin busting thing on a pedestal. it may happen. but it can't be rushed. and you cannot hedge your bets by hanging with someone who may be on an even playing field. try and take sex out of the equation first. talk to them. do you have anything to say that they may find interesting? are you being yourself while doing so? if you try to be someone you aren't, it will come out...then you'll look bad. be yourself...always...be yourself. and...are you interested in what they have to say? if you can't have an honest conversation, it is bound not to go any further than that.
don't rush things. and stop thinking about sex. sometimes crazy things happen. sometimes the moment you stop thinking about sex, is when you just may start having it. sometimes.
and perhaps most importantly, i need to know where lampie buys her chewing gum, because i have been getting jipped.
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sometimes i'd rather run and hide...than stay to face the fear inside...
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lampie1970
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« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2011, 07:30:36 PM » |
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and perhaps most importantly, i need to know where lampie buys her chewing gum, because i have been getting jipped.
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Derek
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« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2011, 07:23:01 AM » |
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I didn't mean to make it sound like i didn't like being a virgin. I think i should have explained that i did not like being a virgin by circumstance. I would rather be a virgin by choice that by circumstance. i am not a virgin because i said no to women i am a virgin because i was just not romanticly attractive. Now would i have said no. Back in my younger days, probely not to be honest. But i would still have made dang sure there was mutual love and respect involved. So bing a virgin itself doasn't bother me. what bothers me is HOW i stayed a virgin. You understand?
If i totaly had my way, a perfect scenerio would be a beautiful woman would offer me premarrital sex, and i would say no. Let me be the one to say no for a change. (not that i ever offered but what they were saying no to was a romantic relationship with me).
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« Last Edit: September 05, 2011, 07:28:59 AM by Derek »
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