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Paperback Writer
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« Reply #19 on: December 06, 2007, 01:13:38 AM » |
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THE DAILY MAIL
FLAMING lamPIE
***** exclusive****** exclusive****** exclusive***** exclusive***** exclusive****** exclusive ******
Bar Hoppin' in Florida - Contest winner says she rocked ex-Beatle's mojo until he twisted and shouted:Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!!!
Miami: A chestnut brown haired beauty lit the fire of the Brown-Eyed Handsome Man, former Beatle and international superstar - Paul McCartney after the formalities of their contest sponsered meeting for a drink was declared over. The scheduled 3 hour event, was called off 7 minutes into the contest when the pair instantly went combustible on each other after first meeting.
The contest, arranged by the world's biggest Beatle Fan website - Let's Talk Beatles.Com - was to introduce the star, known to fans as, "Macca" to the winner for a three hour social, where the activity was expected to be talk of music, family and general good cheer. Our exclusive sources report that the compelling brunette who won the opportunity to meet Paul was tastefully outfitted for the evening. When Paul saw her, he lit up like a Christmas tree and pulled out a Misletoe - held it over her head - and stated: "Let's start on the lips and work our way down."
The woman - who McCartney had already started calling - "Wild Honey Pie"- spun towards her hired limo driver and shouted:"Baby You Can Drive My Car -scram get out of here, I ain't going home tonight!"
McCartney shouted for everyone in the lounge to "Get Back to where you once belong!" The lounge was vacated by all - EXCEPT FOR OUR REPORTER who viewed the lurid, lewd and lascivious behavior from his vantage point - hiding behind a stack of empty beer kegs. In order to keep within guidlines of US obscenity laws, we are limited in describing the torrid, steamy and scandalous behavior between Ms. Flaming (lam)Pie and the "cute" - but aging Beatle. But - in service to our readership - we'll try.
Our reporter stated McCartney"performed" like he did as a 25 year old Beatle, that's as explicit as we're allowed to be. The reporter added that the brown-haired vixen seemed to be casting a "spell" over McCartney who seemed awed at his return to his youthful exploits. Yes, "it" happened on the bar, the pool table, leaning onto the piano, swinging from the hat-check room and culminating under the Christmas Tree - until it toppled onto the hysterically laughing rock-star and "contest winner."
The above action got started, at first, when McCartney pulled out his Misletoe.The ravishing brown-haired vixen then un-wound her "wrap" to reveal, how can we politely say this - well everything the intelligent readers of The Daily Mail can ever imagine! Instantly, Ms. (lam)Pie produced a 10 foot Misletoe. Then, with tongue wagging, she spun and wrapped herself with it and - with a 'come hither' stare and wagging fore-finger saucily cood to Macca - "Now, you kiss ME and start at my feet and work your way up, "laddie!" Macca was speechless, except his over-arched eyebrows spoke volumes!
Standards of decency prevent any further discussion of what occurred next, but suffice it to say, Macca has rented a condo for 2008, a mile from the meeting lounge and has ordered studio time in Miami. Our investigative team can now reveal - EXCLUSIVELY HERE - that Macca found our reporter behind the kegs and declared:Under ordinary circumstances, I'd make a phone call and you would be turned into powder and dissolved in the ocean! But I am so happy and in love, I am going to let you out of here." Macca released our brave reporter.
The general press saw Macca, alone, the next morning sipping on a latte' at Starbucks and asked how his fan contest event went. He replied: Very pleasant, sweet young lady from this area, liked the Beatles , Wings and my solo stuff. It's nice to show appreciation to a fan, once in awhile."
Flaming (lam)Pie stated: "Expect him to be writing, recording his best ever music! He told me, meeting me was like meeting John and Linda, the first time X1,000,000,000,000 times. And yes, he demonstrated on my body how to pluck the bass strings, pound my drums, tinkle my ivories and strum and slash my chords on every fret - and all the while his timing was impeccable. I'm a lady, so I'll just keep the rest to myself."
Our investigative team will keep our readers abreast of any new deveopments! Meanwhile, a little bird tells The Daily Mail that Flaming (lam)Pie is writing a book - of alcoholic drink recipes. Guess she knows how to intoxicate a man in more ways than one! Just ask - PAUL MCCARTNEY!!!!!!!
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