Venus And Mars...No, not the album ;)

[lampie1970]

Hey, I was just curious....I was hoping I could start a thread where we could discuss the differences in men and women. How they think or act or function. We know that men and women are miles apart of some things, and sometimes the choices made by a man leave me scratching my head to tell the truth, and I know the opposite is true for men.

When some one asks me my opinion about another woman's behavior, I do always start with a disclaimer: I can only speak for me and what I would do, but sometimes I can provide insight as a "maybe it could be this or that".

I do bounce things off my brother to get his opinion, but hey, I figure the more the merrier on stuff like this, you know? And my brother is a more passive kind of person anyway. He has never been someone that has "game" or was a "lady killer", so, his opinion is always like the way it should be, but not always the way it is.

So, are y'all game? Can you help a sister out from time to time?? And I promise to return the favor too...so post your questions here gents!!

[2 of 3]

What's to figure out? Women are insane. End of story. 

[oldasSoul]

You're likely to get a real slap for that, 2!

Since I'm just "one of the girls" in my peer group, I'd love to help out any way I can, Lampie. BTW, I'm male, married, etc., but not a real man's man. I'd much rather talk about what guitar was used in a song, or how impressive the cinematography is in a movie than how the Big Game went last night (or whatever).

Let 'er rip!

[2 of 3]

You're likely to get a real slap for that, 2!

Great! Something I can understand for a change! 

[lampie1970]

I'd much rather talk about what guitar was used in a song, or how impressive the cinematography is in a movie than how the Big Game went last night (or whatever).

me too, of course!!

I think most of my issues of misunderstanding come from what has come before me...lol...meaning....Like my brother was married to a woman that he put through college and as soon as she graduated college with her teaching degree, she left him. So, that kind of made him question womens motives sometimes. All the time... same with me I guess. My ex-husband got me to pay off all his credit cards and transfer money to his account from a home equity loan and then left two weeks later...so that kind of makes me reserved around (and suspicious of) people that seem to be really interested in money. My childhood was pretty full of people taking advantage too, i could write a book (LOL).

Anyway, thats the point of this.

I am an open person. I am honest about the way i feel and often reveal too much. It sometimes gets misunderstood to be a come on or that i am angling for something. I have tried as an adult to take care of myself so that people DONT think i am angling for something (cause why would I, if i already got it taken care of right?). I want people to know that I want to be around them, not necessarily that I need to be around them. But i get the whole "need to be needed" thing too...wow what a slippery slope....lol

[Greg]

Great topic.  Amazing.

Do you look back and see any signs that your ex-husband would/could do something like that?
 
I'd rather hang out with a group of women most of the time (except during a football game), so I can't speak for how men feel except from the view that I have been in discussions with so many guy friends.  My overall view is that I would be leery of most guys but not all.  It's just that a lot of guys I have been around aren't trustworthy, but about a third of them are great guys.  Friends of mine are pretty good people, but guys I have known as acquaintances have been a little suspect.

One difference I would generalize about is that guys are laid back about a lot of stuff compared with women.  Another might be is that guys like to have time alone to do whatever they're into...sports, music, etc.  Those are just generalizations.  Could be wrong.

[mervap]

A little background: I was raised by a divorced Mom and 2 older sisters...LC likes to say I was uniquely prepared for marriage as such. I have been married to LC since I was 20, so I didn't do a lot of dating. However, I like to think I am a student of observational character, that is, I like to study people and why they do the things they do.

Most people, when given a choice, will choose a path that allows them the most comfort and advantage....I'll give you an example: At work, we park in a big lot where a 14 passenger van picks us up for transit to the jobsite. A logical, rational mind would see the van and think,"If I am first in the van, I should climb past the front seats to the back in order for the rest of the van to be filled more easily." This NEVER happens...the first guys plop down in the first row, then the second row...by the time the last guys get in, they have to climb over everyone else to get to the back. I am a large guy, so it can get a little testy...

These are all "typical" guys, construction types, seeking the easiest path to wherever they are going. There's nothing inherently wrong with this behavior, it's just annoying to me...one could say that they are thwarting MY path to comfort! I suppose the point I mean to make here is this: No relationship will work for very long when only one person (or neither person) is concerned with the comfort and well-being of the other, trying to make the other person's path easier or better somehow.

[lampie1970]

Do you look back and see any signs that your ex-husband would/could do something like that?

Funny. No. When i met him he was very hardworking. Worked like 12 hours a day and no complaints. He didnt seem like his pride as a man would let him be "a kept man". But towards the end thats all he wanted. To be paid for, so he didnt have to work. He didnt want any responsibility. For me. for himself. for anything.

One difference I would generalize about is that guys are laid back about a lot of stuff compared with women.  Another might be is that guys like to have time alone to do whatever they're into...sports, music, etc.  Those are just generalizations.  Could be wrong.

I am like this too. This may not be a venus/mars thing, but an introvert/extrovert thing. I really do like my alone time. For sure.

I, as most of you know, have curly hair. Every now and then I will straighten it. If you were to see a wife/GF/co-worker/grocery store cashier etc that has normally curly hair straightened ( or dyed or cut whatever..) would you think:

A) She has a date
B) she is trying to get a date
C) she is trying something new
D) she was bored
E) Write it in....

Im just curious what you think when you notice, or even IF you notice, if a girl does something different....

[mervap]

Im just curious what you think when you notice, or even IF you notice, if a girl does something different....

I mostly think that it would be more about the gal just wanting a change.....I do notice if the change is more than a change of hair conditioner! :)

[2 of 3]

Im just curious what you think when you notice, or even IF you notice, if a girl does something different....

I notice all the time. Then I get the "ewww..creepy guy noticed my new(fill in the blank)" look.

[Greg]

A woman changing her looks always just strikes me as, "Oh, she changed her look."  Nothing more or less.  I do think it's cool when women do that though.  I change my appearance by getting new glasses every three years or so. 

I was also thinking of how similar men and women must have become over the last 30 years.  We all seem to be in the same situation now days.  Yet I suppose there are many men who are looking for a job and a stay-at-home wife and many women who are looking to stay home and raise children.  It's like all bets are off in today's society. 

Last thing.  I don't know about other men, but I have always had the view of "I can't believe this girl likes me." attitude.  It's like a big part of the attraction is that the girl likes me.  I mean that in a good way though.  I am just thrilled and honored that she sees something in me.  Maybe it's lack of confidence or low self-esteem on my part, but whatever.

[2 of 3]

Very good points Greg. I've had "discussions" before where it is believed that all men are threatened by a woman that is smart, independent, makes more money than them etc etc. I don't believe that at all. I do believe that it has more to do with what Greg stated...we are more threatened by our own insecurities. Maybe it's how we were brought up...or..some odd way of being pushed in that direction by the society we live in. 10 times out of 10 I will choose the smart girl...though in my case, that's not difficult. 

[lampie1970]

I've had mixed personally. Some, the ones that are brave enough i guess to voice their thoughts, have said a simple: that looks nice. Where as other ones have said: Who are you trying to impress? I can only assume meant in the vein of: I know its not me, so who are you cheating on me with?

Funny, sometimes i WOULD do things to impress the person I was with, but sometimes I guess because of (as previously stated) the insecurities or whatever, they would make me feel bad about it and the whole point was completely lost. No one ends up impressed when that happens.

This subject is by no means closed, but I wanted to throw another in.

Why would someone hang out EVERYDAY with someone for like 6 months and then one day decide to move on (and get engaged within 4 months btw....). I mean, i get that people meet people and whatever, but there was no waning or tapering off, just one day "ON" and the next day "OFF". He even broke up with me outside a Chili's where we had just had lunch. Just wondering what your take could be...I mean, did he want to make sure the other girl was a sure thing first? or what?

[2 of 3]

I guess that would depend on if you were both in the same mind set..meaning... both thinking you were going out. Hanging out with someone is not going out in my mind...no matter what someone's moral code is.

[lampie1970]

lets say both were...