Jokes

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I should also add........And Went Blind. 

[Greg]

One day the mammals were playing the insects in football.  During the first half the mammals were easily scoring on the insects and running up the score.  The elephants were running easily for touchdowns as were the leopards.  etc, etc.

To start the second half the insects received the kickoff and a new player, centipede, ran back the kickoff for a TD.  On defense centipede made tackle after tackle and intercepted 4 passes, etc, etc.  The mammals were defeated 111-108.

The team was happy, but the coach had a question.  He said, "Centipede, great job out there.  We couldn't have won without you.  I just have one question.  Where were you for the first half of the game?"

Centipede replied, "Putting on my shoes."

It takes kids about 5-10 seconds to figure that one out.  Then they laugh.

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Oh, how I wish I could do this!

[Paperback Writer]

Recently, upon return from re-hab to home with his wife, Elin, Tiger Woods was working extremely hard on his golf game.
He reported on his golf progress to his wife after arriving home from the golf range.  He then asked Elin to "make love" to him.

She shouted an answer back to him, but he said: "No, I didn't ask what I should work on in my golf game, I asked you to make love."

She replied:"I heard you correctly the first time  - and it's the same answer - go play with your putter!"

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Hehe

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